Two voices live inside all of us, one empowering, one doubting. Which one you feed decides how loud it gets.
Hello friends,
A few years ago I went through one of the most exciting stretches of my life. I moved somewhere new without knowing anyone, meditated for hours a day for weeks, found a home I loved, and made a decision that reshaped how I split my life going forward. As you can imagine, that process came with plenty of self-doubt and anxious thoughts along the way.
I know this is something we all struggle with. So today, a few honest thoughts on what to do in moments of real uncertainty and self-doubt.
What I've learned about self-worth
It's completely normal to have doubts, to feel like you're lacking, to be anxious or fearful. Even the most outwardly successful people on this planet carry it. We're not alone with these often difficult emotions. Being human includes what we'd call negative emotion, struggle, and suffering, not as an exception to it.
I once went to a psychologist after a hard break-up and told him I didn't have self-worth. He smiled and said: "We all have it, it's just that for many of us it's clouded." He suggested meditation, which at the time I thought was ridiculous. Today I know it was the biggest shift I've made.
Real growth, for me, comes from removing the obstacles that keep us from seeing our true worth in the first place.
Here's a small image that helps me. Imagine you have two voices inside you. One is empowering, loving, excited about a new idea. The other doubts you, keeps you small, is constantly afraid of everything. Which one do you listen to most? I listened to the second one for a long time. When I started meditating and observing my mind, I noticed I didn't have to exhaust myself trying to silence the voice that says I'm not worthy. Instead I shifted my focus, and started following the other voice in my actions.
Where it actually starts
It starts with self-awareness. If we're not aware of the parts of ourselves that overly protect us from imaginary problems, we can't do much about them. That's why meditation feels essential to me for living courageously.
In moments of doubt, both voices show up. There's the one telling me I'm not good enough, that I'll fail, that I should stay in my comfort zone and keep everyone else happy. And there's the one that dreams, that knows life is short, that wants to make a real difference.
In those moments, I try to consciously choose the empowering voice, and ignore the other one. Then I focus on action, taking whatever step I can toward what I actually want. That action can be as small as sending an email, booking a ticket, renting a room, anything that commits me to the voice I want to follow.
The less attention we give the doubting voice, the quieter it gets. We stop feeding it, so it loses its weight. And the more we feed the empowering voice, the louder and more natural it becomes. It's about doing it anyway, even while the fear and doubt are still present. Of course there will be moments we fail, but those might be exactly the experiences that help us grow the most.
You deserve this too
I remind myself that I deserve a good life. And so do you. You deserve to live fully, to love, laugh, and feel genuinely excited. Choosing a life like that means taking risks, and being a little courageous. Life tends to reward the empowering, bold moves. The more we step outside our comfort zones, the more we gain, and the easier it becomes to live an authentic, free life.
Spending time with people who strengthen your empowering voice helps enormously. Communities where you feel safe being fully yourself, whether that's family, friends, or a group online, are worth seeking out. We all want to be seen, heard, understood, and loved. Having people around who give you that is genuinely life-changing.
I hope this was helpful. I wish you real moments of feeling empowered, and the courage to make the bold move when it counts. I'm convinced we get rewarded for it, again and again.
Have a lovely day,
P.S. Inner dialogue and self-compassion work like this run through our 8-week Emotional Intelligence in Action programme. Discovery Call is at cal.com/sophie-bachmann/discovery-call when you're ready.